New Year Diet Resolutions

I was inspired by a post on Food 2's Web site (click here) about 2010 diet fads. The post was originally called "4 Diet Fads of 2010, demystified" but the post didn't demystify anything. It only served to piss me off and make me regret I read the thing.





First, all of the diets listed are not new. They've been out for years.





Taco Bell has has the "fresco" option on the menu since at least 2006. I used to eat at Taco Bell nearly every night and as tasty as the replacement salsa is, it always made my tacos soggy and fall apart. Just give me sauce and cheese on my tacos, okthanksbye.





And it took Christine way too long to lose weight by eating just Taco Bell. She should have been eating some Special K, doing yoga, or maybe even packing her lunch. Let me not pass judgement. I just think it's silly this lady gets to be on tv because she lost weight. Wait until I lose 100 lbs...





Next, if you only eat 800 calories a day, of COURSE you're going to lose weight!


Dr. Siegel from South Florida made his Hollywood Cookie Diet (click here) popular and the expensive snacks are available for a mere $60 for 42 cookies. You're supposed to eat 4 a day. The only meal you're allowed to have is dinner and it has to be 300 calories, high in carbs and no fat. I'm not a math major but damn. :(

In this 2009 interview, he talks about the diet, it's popularity and says you can't have alcohol if you're on this diet. I refuse to give up my Yuengling and Blue Moon, so I won't be trying this one.



Thirdly, is the Cabbage Soup Diet.



I don't have much to say about this fad diet except it's low in nutrients, protein, and omega-3s. The recipe calls for an onion soup mix packet and a few boullion cubes and that cries out for kidney failure due to all of the salt involved.

Let's about how this diet gives you loads of gas.


Let's talk about dehydration from the diarrhea you'll have from eating all of that fruit.

Let's talk about this temporary fix may get you into that dress for Saturday night, but is it worth having mud butt all week?

Last, but not least is the Master Cleanse Diet.

Yeah, if all you consume is lemonade sweetened with maple syrup spiced with cayenne pepper, for TWO WEEKS--of course you're going to lose weight!

It's rumored that Gweneth Paltrow and Beyonce have used this diet to detox and lose weight.

I'll admit it, I thought about doing the Cleanse. Someone gave me Stanley Burroughs' book (not as a joke or because they thought I'd like to read it) as a resource to steer others away from this "diet".

I'll let you read the facts, details and purported benefits for yourself. It all sounds so crazy, my fingers refuse to type it out.

In conclusion, demystifying a diet includes discussing it and highlighting certain details while informing the public. Diet is a four-letter word that shouldn't be used in mixed company. If you want to lose weight, it's simple: burn more calories than you take in. The end.